True Love in the Time of Machines [or] How I Saved a Girl and Found True Love.

"So," many have asked. "How did you and Betty meet?"

It's a simple enough question. And it could easily be replied to with a simple response...

If you were asking a simple man about his simple girl.

But, dear reader (as you know), we are anything but simple. The lives of our heroes - El Mustango and Betty - are fraught with harrowing danger, acts of daring, feats of strength, international mystery and intrigue and frequent trips to the grocery store to get juice for our General (the mysteriously named "R"). apple juice. in a sippy cup. straight. without water.

And it was on a particular brisk spring morning that our heroine Betty set out to the store for some apple juice. She hopped in her sparkling red Hyundia Hovercraft and made for the nearest grocery mart, in a hurry-- for "R" does not like to be kept waiting.

Little did she know that she was being followed. Watched by gleaming, blinking red from the eyes of her would-be assassins. They knew that "R" was out of juice. It was they, during the previous night, who snuck into the top-secret, second-floor lair of Betty and "R" to dispose of the left over juice. Their plan was simple: surprise Betty when she was least expecting it. Lay seige to her in the mart's parking lot.

Fortunately for Betty and "R", the mighty, might El Mustango had been tracking these particularly fiendish assassins for days. He knew they were following their next target, but he didn't know whom that target was. It wasn't until Betty reached the parking lot and her enemies ready themselves to pounce that El Mustango first saw her.

She was stunning and her beauty took his breath away. Little did he know, this goddess in the form of woman was the cunning and deadly Betty. Had he known this, he could simply let them move ahead with their foolish plan and watch from afar as Betty destroyed them.

But, El Mustango is nothing if not chivalrous. Betty looked so pretty in her sporty Hyundai Hovercraft. He'd hate to have even one hair on that gorgeous head of hers harmed. So, he decided to lay a trap and bring these nogoodnix out in the open before they could do her harm.

Just before the assassins were about to attack Betty, El Mustango sprung his trap and the assassins were revealed. Robots! A bakers dozen strong. Armed with deadly onion guns and spatulas. and an even deadly weapon- laser guided onion guns that shot spatulas.

In a nutshell, the onion-gun-toting, spatula-wielding robots were no match for El Mustango. They were all destroyed before Betty even paid for the apple juice. Upon her return to the car, El Mustango introduced himself to her.

And the rest, as they say, is history...